Chaos
The scene is always the same each and every week. It’s Sunday morning and time to get ready for church. I can almost cut the tension with a knife as my wife zips through the house gathering bibles, sippy cups and crock pots while being beckoned to make ponytails and brush teeth. There are 1001 things we have to do before we even get in the vehicle and traverse towards our destination—the local church. I would guess this is certainly not a situation specific to our home? Many of you reading this are already thinking, “Yep, every single week!” How is it that we, as husbands and wives, should respond in a biblical manner during this weekly time of turbulence?
Husbands What Is Your Response?
Are you helpful? What does that mean? Are you sensitive to what it is your wife frets over? What are a few of the things that may send your wife over the proverbial cliff every Sunday morning? Identifying and addressing a few of those things, without any dialogue taking place, will be of significant support. That’s right, I just gave advice to NOT communicate. As the husband, being a key player in this Sunday morning ritual, you should be able to recognize a few of these issues simply by being present and observing. If this isn’t the case, then it is time to start noticing. Like NOW!
We have been given this command from God:
Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
This is a picture of incredible self sacrifice that I am afraid many of us do not grasp. I, being the chief of the guilty. The reality of the guilt becoming painfully evident not long after the birth of our first child (we now have 4 beauties). I was a Christian, teaching Sunday School each and every week, BUT I had not grasped the concept of being like Christ and loving my bride as He has loves His. I was more focused on whether or not my notes were in order and I had my clothes laid out and ready to go. What a fool I was! The issue was not that I was teaching Sunday school or wanting to be ready, but for focusing primarily on me! It didn’t take long for me to note that this was an issue for my wife–and ultimately me. How? My wife told me. In both her actions and vociferation she expressed her exasperation. I am thankful for a beautiful wife who doesn’t beat around the bush. My pride did not like it, but God’s Word hit me from the other angle before I could respond in a fleshly way:
Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
She had to communicate with me in order for me to be able to discern my error. Why?
- Because I had not paid any attention to my surroundings of which she should be the central focus. Right after Jesus Christ.
- Because I was more focused on me than I was her, and my daughter for that matter.
- Because I was blind and therefore not following Christ’s example of being a sacrifice for His bride.
We were new parents trying to figure this thing out. Even then, 9 short years ago, we struggled when Sunday morning pandemonium came. I had to repent. It took time but as we continued to be blessed with more wonderful gifts from the Lord, i.e. children, things improved. Not because of me, but because of the Holy Spirit’s work in me and the example that Christ lays out for us in Scripture. Do I still struggle and still fall in this area? Absolutely. But it is better, much better, and I am constantly looking for ways to help.
How Can You Help Your Wife?
Here are just a few things that have been helpful in our “Nearly Never Normal” household on the Lord’s Day morning:
- Get the food ready for everyone. Breakfast bars for the road, making cereal, etc.
- Diaper changing. For those with children still in diapers this is a big deal. Often this has to be timed correctly. If your child is ‘regular’ then waiting until the deed is done is beneficial, both for you and your bank account. Less diapers used–they aren’t getting any cheaper.
- Making drinks. Whether it be orange juice, milk, water, etc. Our kids are hot chocolate fanatics. I have made that my ‘baby’ and thus I spend time getting their drinks and MY WIFE’S COFFEE ready. If your wife is a caffeine addict…aid her with her addiction on Sunday morning. She will love you even more for it!
- If you have animals get them fed, let out, watered, etc. Certainly this is one less thing your wife should have to deal with.
- Help dress the kids. Okay this is NOT my strong suit and my wife would much rather me do 1-3 above than #4 here. I have left with my kids shirts on backwards more than once. Some things cannot be learned. BUT if you are better than I am in this arena, it would be extremely beneficial.
- Love her. I know you would say you already do this but TELL HER you love her! Over and and over with some affection (coupled by a smile or gentle kiss as you cross pathways to and from the kitchen) reassure her of your love. And no matter how gorgeous you think and know she is…TELL HER that too. It helps for her to hear this. (Colossians 3:4)
- Load the car. With kids, drinks, food, Bibles, etc. You can leave the pets. Don’t be that guy watching your wife struggle to get out the door while you are sitting in the car thinking, perplexed, “Whatever is taking her so long?” Wrong thought.
If you haven’t completely tuned me out or stopped reading by this point I know you will have at least gleaned a few things that can, if applied, make your mornings so much easier. This will result in attitudes that are much better suited to worship upon your arrival to church. By no means is our life ‘perfect’, in fact, it is far from it, but we have grown together and closer as a family by letting Christ be our guide. And do we have to correct ourselves and repent? You betcha! Often. This is the Christian life. It’s the “Nearly Never Normal” life at the Waugh house. If I can quote a line from a secular country music song without being stoned, “I love this crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?
Soli Deo Gloria!
You can read Part 2 directed towards the wives.
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By: Shawn Waugh (AKA Dr. Luke)
*Shawn is the host of “Word For America” on Grace Life Radio. He is married to Jade Waugh the better half of the “Nearly Never Normal” blog site.
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[…] following is helpful. This post is part 2 of 2 with the first focusing on the Husbands role (can be read here). Let’s now turn attention to how the Christian wife should […]